Money, Mucus, and Matter.

Mucus is a disgusting word, isn't it? I guess I thought it might be the nicest way to put it into my clever "M" word title. And it is true, after all, my head is overflowing with it. My eyes are itchy, my nose is running, my throat is scratchy, and my ears tickle, too.

I thought, last night as I went to bed, that I would be better by morning, or at least well enough to go to work. The problem with assuming this is I would have had to have called in and found someone to take my shift last night. That's not something I thought through very well. I was therefore, left with two options: I could call in at 9:00am, when I am supposed to be there, and get management to call someone in for me, or two, I could go in and look myself for someone to come in from 10:00am, opening time, to 1:00pm. I chose the latter. I found that to be a more responsible and note-worthy behavior. I got to Express, called all of the associates that would be available, and got answering machine after answering machine. Finally, 10:00 rolls around and there is still no one to take my place. Quincina, or "Queen," one of my good manager friends there was opening with me this morning. Good thing, too, because she looks out for me. She needed my help with some mark-downs that our district manager, Lavern, wanted done, but then she let me go at about 10:40. Turns out I didn't have to work too hard, so now I'm home and blowing my nose here, instead.

My mother called from her current location of Rochester, NY just as I was leaving the store. She called to check on me and to remind me how precious I am to God. That brightened me up a bit. I decided, soon after, that I really wanted a cup of coffee. I headed over to DeBeen Espresso, my favorite local coffee joint, and ordered a frozen soy heath mocha with a double espresso. There's still a bit left, and man is it good! I honestly cannot wait until I have a good espresso machine of my own. Over a year ago, my step-father gave one for my mom for her birthday, but neither of us really like it. It is kind of a "fake" espresso maker for the average American who knows not what they do. However, he also passed away that day, and it has been difficult for her to give it up. She says she knows it shouldn't be that way; there is no need to be attached to an item. We will probably end up selling it and buying a new one. Then I will do wonders!

Decidedly, if I were you, I would be wondering what "Money, Mucus, and Matter meant." It probably hasn't crossed your mind since you've been reading, but maybe it did before. I will get on, then, to what I intended talking about, so you'll be without question. Money!

Often times, we realize not what we have taken into our own hands and placed on our own shoulders wrongly. Our human nature, because of sin, because of imperfection, tells us we have to depend on ourselves. We believe and are convinced, wrongly, that knowledge and human reason can get us through. This, friends, is a lie. I have been learning about dealing with what I own in a different way. I have been learning to trust in God to deal with it, and not depend on me, or not operate in fear of lack, but operate how HE wants me to operate. I am moving slowly, but as fast as I can. The truth is, it is not up to me to decide where my money goes or how I spend it. I must fully rely on Him not only to meet all of my needs, but to direct my revenue. This takes humility, prayer, and focus. It takes wisdom to know when to be quiet and ask Him for His mighty direction. His power overcomes all of our understanding. It is simply a matter of letting go of what we think we know is smart, what is smart in our culture's eyes, and our pride in thinking we know what is best.

This is so easy to say, so easy to type, but so hard to do. Trusting what we cannot literally see with everything we have seems impossible! But I have done too much planning, too much sorting, and too much worrying about what I have and what I am going to buy. It is all unnecessary. It is all His. It is time to let go.

It is amazing to me how the Lord changes me. It is not me changing myself, He is all up in it. He knows better than I, 'shew, much better than I that I cannot do anything on my own. He is faithful to show that to me when I need it most! Praise Him for putting you here! Praise Him for creating this earth! Praise Him for the food in your mouth! Praise Him for the song in your heart! Praise Him for the money in your pockets!

Praise Him,
With Sincerity,
Rachel Kennedy