I am pleased to announce than I feel much better today, in more than one way! To summarize my breakthrough, I have seen a very thought provoking week, and thought, fought, and coughed through it. My belief system has been altered, my sinuses have been cleared, and I am more free than I was before!
The Lord is so good to me, and I cannot imagine living without Him! There would be no life. I must say, that through this week, even though I have wavered and been stuborn about what I thought He was telling me, He has just waited and patiently said, "I've got you right where I want you." Something that I am learning more and more every day is that pain is such a beautiful aspect of learning. Without the pain, we, in our human state, would be incapible of contrasting good and evil. What would good be without a contrary opponent? We would simply be living in what was called good but what felt ordinary. There is nothing good about feeling no pain on this earth. How could an imperfect man learn anything? On this earth, where imperfection prowls, there is no way that an absense of it, in effect, can be completely satisfactory to the sinful, indefinite being.
Praise God for the covenant He made with me at the cross, and that I am washed in the blood of the Lamb. Now I will taste freedom and new life, and it will be satisfactory to me.
Abundance is authored by Him alone, and all life flows from Him. I am dead to Christ, but because He is alive, I, in spirit, am alive, too. What a blessing. And yet knowing of all the benefits I get out of the relationship with my perfect heavenly Dad, He, simultaneously, gets all of the glory. Because it is all about Him, and He knows it.
Getting on to less important things, it is true, I am no longer sick. It is also true that I still have a wee stuffy nose, but I feel much better, all around. It is wonderful timing, because today is Saturday, and I can take some time to complete my 4-day-long period of resting on the Sabath!
In addition to the pain and reasoning He has been revealing to me, I have also been shown a glimpse of what is vanity to me. Yesterday, I was pondering what I was to read at the beginning of the Sabath, and Ecclesiastes was the winning elect. I have read in Ecclesiastes many times, but there is always something new to learn, so I started reading. He is teaching me what is vanity to me, what to change and what to let go of. I will keep you updated!
In Awe of Almighty,
With Sincerity,
Rachel Kennedy
Saturday, September 17, 2005
Friday, September 16, 2005
Money, Mucus, and Matter.
Mucus is a disgusting word, isn't it? I guess I thought it might be the nicest way to put it into my clever "M" word title. And it is true, after all, my head is overflowing with it. My eyes are itchy, my nose is running, my throat is scratchy, and my ears tickle, too.
I thought, last night as I went to bed, that I would be better by morning, or at least well enough to go to work. The problem with assuming this is I would have had to have called in and found someone to take my shift last night. That's not something I thought through very well. I was therefore, left with two options: I could call in at 9:00am, when I am supposed to be there, and get management to call someone in for me, or two, I could go in and look myself for someone to come in from 10:00am, opening time, to 1:00pm. I chose the latter. I found that to be a more responsible and note-worthy behavior. I got to Express, called all of the associates that would be available, and got answering machine after answering machine. Finally, 10:00 rolls around and there is still no one to take my place. Quincina, or "Queen," one of my good manager friends there was opening with me this morning. Good thing, too, because she looks out for me. She needed my help with some mark-downs that our district manager, Lavern, wanted done, but then she let me go at about 10:40. Turns out I didn't have to work too hard, so now I'm home and blowing my nose here, instead.
My mother called from her current location of Rochester, NY just as I was leaving the store. She called to check on me and to remind me how precious I am to God. That brightened me up a bit. I decided, soon after, that I really wanted a cup of coffee. I headed over to DeBeen Espresso, my favorite local coffee joint, and ordered a frozen soy heath mocha with a double espresso. There's still a bit left, and man is it good! I honestly cannot wait until I have a good espresso machine of my own. Over a year ago, my step-father gave one for my mom for her birthday, but neither of us really like it. It is kind of a "fake" espresso maker for the average American who knows not what they do. However, he also passed away that day, and it has been difficult for her to give it up. She says she knows it shouldn't be that way; there is no need to be attached to an item. We will probably end up selling it and buying a new one. Then I will do wonders!
Decidedly, if I were you, I would be wondering what "Money, Mucus, and Matter meant." It probably hasn't crossed your mind since you've been reading, but maybe it did before. I will get on, then, to what I intended talking about, so you'll be without question. Money!
Often times, we realize not what we have taken into our own hands and placed on our own shoulders wrongly. Our human nature, because of sin, because of imperfection, tells us we have to depend on ourselves. We believe and are convinced, wrongly, that knowledge and human reason can get us through. This, friends, is a lie. I have been learning about dealing with what I own in a different way. I have been learning to trust in God to deal with it, and not depend on me, or not operate in fear of lack, but operate how HE wants me to operate. I am moving slowly, but as fast as I can. The truth is, it is not up to me to decide where my money goes or how I spend it. I must fully rely on Him not only to meet all of my needs, but to direct my revenue. This takes humility, prayer, and focus. It takes wisdom to know when to be quiet and ask Him for His mighty direction. His power overcomes all of our understanding. It is simply a matter of letting go of what we think we know is smart, what is smart in our culture's eyes, and our pride in thinking we know what is best.
This is so easy to say, so easy to type, but so hard to do. Trusting what we cannot literally see with everything we have seems impossible! But I have done too much planning, too much sorting, and too much worrying about what I have and what I am going to buy. It is all unnecessary. It is all His. It is time to let go.
It is amazing to me how the Lord changes me. It is not me changing myself, He is all up in it. He knows better than I, 'shew, much better than I that I cannot do anything on my own. He is faithful to show that to me when I need it most! Praise Him for putting you here! Praise Him for creating this earth! Praise Him for the food in your mouth! Praise Him for the song in your heart! Praise Him for the money in your pockets!
Praise Him,
With Sincerity,
Rachel Kennedy
I thought, last night as I went to bed, that I would be better by morning, or at least well enough to go to work. The problem with assuming this is I would have had to have called in and found someone to take my shift last night. That's not something I thought through very well. I was therefore, left with two options: I could call in at 9:00am, when I am supposed to be there, and get management to call someone in for me, or two, I could go in and look myself for someone to come in from 10:00am, opening time, to 1:00pm. I chose the latter. I found that to be a more responsible and note-worthy behavior. I got to Express, called all of the associates that would be available, and got answering machine after answering machine. Finally, 10:00 rolls around and there is still no one to take my place. Quincina, or "Queen," one of my good manager friends there was opening with me this morning. Good thing, too, because she looks out for me. She needed my help with some mark-downs that our district manager, Lavern, wanted done, but then she let me go at about 10:40. Turns out I didn't have to work too hard, so now I'm home and blowing my nose here, instead.
My mother called from her current location of Rochester, NY just as I was leaving the store. She called to check on me and to remind me how precious I am to God. That brightened me up a bit. I decided, soon after, that I really wanted a cup of coffee. I headed over to DeBeen Espresso, my favorite local coffee joint, and ordered a frozen soy heath mocha with a double espresso. There's still a bit left, and man is it good! I honestly cannot wait until I have a good espresso machine of my own. Over a year ago, my step-father gave one for my mom for her birthday, but neither of us really like it. It is kind of a "fake" espresso maker for the average American who knows not what they do. However, he also passed away that day, and it has been difficult for her to give it up. She says she knows it shouldn't be that way; there is no need to be attached to an item. We will probably end up selling it and buying a new one. Then I will do wonders!
Decidedly, if I were you, I would be wondering what "Money, Mucus, and Matter meant." It probably hasn't crossed your mind since you've been reading, but maybe it did before. I will get on, then, to what I intended talking about, so you'll be without question. Money!
Often times, we realize not what we have taken into our own hands and placed on our own shoulders wrongly. Our human nature, because of sin, because of imperfection, tells us we have to depend on ourselves. We believe and are convinced, wrongly, that knowledge and human reason can get us through. This, friends, is a lie. I have been learning about dealing with what I own in a different way. I have been learning to trust in God to deal with it, and not depend on me, or not operate in fear of lack, but operate how HE wants me to operate. I am moving slowly, but as fast as I can. The truth is, it is not up to me to decide where my money goes or how I spend it. I must fully rely on Him not only to meet all of my needs, but to direct my revenue. This takes humility, prayer, and focus. It takes wisdom to know when to be quiet and ask Him for His mighty direction. His power overcomes all of our understanding. It is simply a matter of letting go of what we think we know is smart, what is smart in our culture's eyes, and our pride in thinking we know what is best.
This is so easy to say, so easy to type, but so hard to do. Trusting what we cannot literally see with everything we have seems impossible! But I have done too much planning, too much sorting, and too much worrying about what I have and what I am going to buy. It is all unnecessary. It is all His. It is time to let go.
It is amazing to me how the Lord changes me. It is not me changing myself, He is all up in it. He knows better than I, 'shew, much better than I that I cannot do anything on my own. He is faithful to show that to me when I need it most! Praise Him for putting you here! Praise Him for creating this earth! Praise Him for the food in your mouth! Praise Him for the song in your heart! Praise Him for the money in your pockets!
Praise Him,
With Sincerity,
Rachel Kennedy
Thursday, September 15, 2005
The Real Beginning...
I am a wee bit sick. I have been fighting off "the sniffles" for a few days now, which is partially my fault, and partially Joseph's fault. Afterall, he was sick, and I was the one provoking him to physical contact, so we both played a roll in my aquiring my condition.
I continue to blow my nose and cough repeatedly, worse than the days before. I sincerely hope I regain my health by 7:00am tomorrow, when I have to wake to go to work from 9:00am - 2:00pm. Elseways, that could be less enjoyable than it already is.
I have been thinking a lot lately about where I am supposed to be, what I am supposed to be doing. I am a girl in need of change. Sometimes I simply feel that way, and that is the human in me. I like my scene to change often; a fast-paced change, with relatively easy-going effect. That is generally who I am, what I desire. However, God usually has a different way of seeing things, and I long for the day when my desires are in alignment with His. The completion of that will only come at the close of my visit here on earth, but until then, I must be selfless: continually giving all that I am in submission to my Heavenly Father, the Living God, and Yeshua, Jesus Christ, who is a part of Him. Lord, I beg of you, help me know Your ways, and help me acknowledge and turn from my insufficiency. You complete me, furthermore, You are who I want to mirror.
In all of my questioning, and in all of my decision making, this still lingers with me. I would like nothing less than to see and hear what He wants concerning my job, my schooling, my church, my relationship with my father, and my music. All of these things bring questions to the surface. I don't know exactly where to turn. I know I could go ahead and make my own decisions, but I know that would merely enhance the incompetence in me that lurks about. Amplifying nothing more than me, and that is not what I am after.
So, where to? Do I keep my job simply because I am afraid of my father's reaction to not having one? Absolutely not. Do I have another job or my small photography business (that I have ever drempt of) in line and ready to go, simply because I am afraid of my father's reaction to not having a job? Decidedly not. Do I stay at my church with the weight of discomfort on my shoulders as long as I can? Decidedly debatable. I am just waiting for God's go, and it is tempting to go ahead and move on, as I seem to want the future more than the present, sometimes. Sometimes all I want is to move to Nashville, or moreover, to London, get married, start a few businesses, maybe a coffee shop, and live in an apartment in the city. Then maybe throw in a few more guitars, more ambition and desire to learn that bloody instrument, and a dog, and you've got my escape plan. Maybe some of those things are the plan for me in the future, and maybe they are not, but I know I must look to God alone, and not to my outlet, or my escape, or to my future.
I know all of this, it is only a matter of believing it.
I leave you with this...
Christ is lifechanging, it is only a matter of letting him change your life.
Good Day & Good Tidings To You,
With Sincerity,
Rachel Kennedy.
I continue to blow my nose and cough repeatedly, worse than the days before. I sincerely hope I regain my health by 7:00am tomorrow, when I have to wake to go to work from 9:00am - 2:00pm. Elseways, that could be less enjoyable than it already is.
I have been thinking a lot lately about where I am supposed to be, what I am supposed to be doing. I am a girl in need of change. Sometimes I simply feel that way, and that is the human in me. I like my scene to change often; a fast-paced change, with relatively easy-going effect. That is generally who I am, what I desire. However, God usually has a different way of seeing things, and I long for the day when my desires are in alignment with His. The completion of that will only come at the close of my visit here on earth, but until then, I must be selfless: continually giving all that I am in submission to my Heavenly Father, the Living God, and Yeshua, Jesus Christ, who is a part of Him. Lord, I beg of you, help me know Your ways, and help me acknowledge and turn from my insufficiency. You complete me, furthermore, You are who I want to mirror.
In all of my questioning, and in all of my decision making, this still lingers with me. I would like nothing less than to see and hear what He wants concerning my job, my schooling, my church, my relationship with my father, and my music. All of these things bring questions to the surface. I don't know exactly where to turn. I know I could go ahead and make my own decisions, but I know that would merely enhance the incompetence in me that lurks about. Amplifying nothing more than me, and that is not what I am after.
So, where to? Do I keep my job simply because I am afraid of my father's reaction to not having one? Absolutely not. Do I have another job or my small photography business (that I have ever drempt of) in line and ready to go, simply because I am afraid of my father's reaction to not having a job? Decidedly not. Do I stay at my church with the weight of discomfort on my shoulders as long as I can? Decidedly debatable. I am just waiting for God's go, and it is tempting to go ahead and move on, as I seem to want the future more than the present, sometimes. Sometimes all I want is to move to Nashville, or moreover, to London, get married, start a few businesses, maybe a coffee shop, and live in an apartment in the city. Then maybe throw in a few more guitars, more ambition and desire to learn that bloody instrument, and a dog, and you've got my escape plan. Maybe some of those things are the plan for me in the future, and maybe they are not, but I know I must look to God alone, and not to my outlet, or my escape, or to my future.
I know all of this, it is only a matter of believing it.
I leave you with this...
Christ is lifechanging, it is only a matter of letting him change your life.
Good Day & Good Tidings To You,
With Sincerity,
Rachel Kennedy.
The Beginning.
For some unknown reason I have created another blog. It will primarily be a more serious place, maybe even for my viewing only. That is something we don't know yet. I just figured I would write a bit and open her up.
Sincerely,
Rachel Kennedy.
Sincerely,
Rachel Kennedy.
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