Education and Thought

This week in my homeschooling venture, I have decided to give myself an extra writing assignment–––to keep myself fresh. The assignment is to journal every day this week (starting yesterday, which I missed). So, I am going to complete that assignment here. I am going to journal my entire week here, and then grade myself on grammar and clarity and such.

It is really just a exercise, I suppose. It is good to be in the habit of writing...to be in the habit of expressing thoughts. I want to be in the habit of expressing myself. I want to be able to communicate my thoughts clearly in life. I would like to think that I already do that relatively well, but I know I always have room to grow.

So, what is my life like lately? It is an interesting question to ask, and an interesting question to answer. It is interesting because it is hard to answer simply. It is hard to explain my life, or how I am doing, when it all seems to be so complex. Life and feeling and experience–––it is hard to put simply or to define. Sometimes it just doesn't make much sense.

But I am doing fine. And yet, I settle for the word fine, because it seems to be a compromise in between the truely beautiful things happening in my life, and the rather difficult or strange things happening in my life. It is hard to say whether I am dreadful, daft, lovely, happy, silly, or splendid, so I conclude that I am all of the above, and that can be summarized with the word fine.

Communication is very interesting. My choice of words is different than the next guy's choice of words, and so on. The way I speak and conclude to think or say different things is based, for the most part, off of my life and my experiences, and is therefore, different than yours. So, it seems as though, because of our differences, that no matter how close we are, you can't know exactly what I mean by "fine." I can try to explain it, but I don't think anyone else but God himself can really know exactly how I am doing.

I am doing fine. My life is my life is my life, and I am doing fine. I am excited about my life. I am excited to live, and excited to learn. I hate school, but I am excited to be in school. I hate that I am where I am in life, because I tend to look toward the future a little too much, but yet, I am still happy to be here. I know preparation in any situation is key. It is a crucial puzzle piece and nothing makes sense without it. I know that my hard work now–––in my school, in my spiritual life–––will prepare me for my future–––will prepare me for what God has for me.

So, welcome to my week of journaling. I am looking forward to the experience. I am looking forward to sharing a little bit of my heart, even if communication stands in the way of what my spirit really wants to tell you. I will do my best to explain who I am, and what I am going through. I will do my best to write with clarity and excellent grammar (although I doubt I will be perfect with either). This is the beginning–––this is our beginning. Let's go.

I will write another entry in a couple of hours to count for today's assigment, as I am afraid this can only count as yesterday's.


Rachel A. Kennedy